Random thoughts of Laguna keep me awake!

I normally am awake early to coordinate my schedule with my wife, who works 5am to 5pm shifts, but I am sitting here awake tonight with too much on my mind. I am writing in hopes that it will allow me to sleep soon.

So why are we here? That is a question I have asked before and will probably always be searching for an answer to! Are we here to help ourselves, others, the world (society, that is) or nature (the planet, solar system and everything)? Are we here to find the reason or is the reason only a motivational item? Do we only have the things around us to make us happy or is there something deep, emotional, spiritual or otherwise that we have to look forward to?

I have spent many a sleepless evening contemplating this. I have found that I enjoy making others happy, but other than emotional benefits, it wouldn't help me survive. (I haven't found anyone willing to pay normal people to make people happy) That means I have to find a way to earn money to pay for housing and food...that kinda sucks! Anywho, I did for a time find that helping people get the car of their dreams made me feel good and made me money. Unfortunately, we all know what a hassle buying and selling cars is! Thus I moved on.

As I said before, I originally started this blog to change preconceived views of Laguna, but I also have learned that it has changed me. I love the way I feel in Laguna...it uplifts me! I wander through the day thinking that I can help someone. I have always wanted to help those who want to help themselves but lacked the means. So now I sit at open houses or in my office, waiting for the chance to help someone realize their dreams. I'm still in sales (per se), but I feel like I can just be helpful rather that sell something. Now I still feel...and probably always will...that I am not in the right place yet, which is another reason why I'm writing this instead of asleep.

So, back to where I started on this post this evening! Am I where I need to be? Am I doing what I need to be doing? Or am I diverted off the path due to the fact that, without money we can not live? I am thinking that I won't figure this out...especially this evening! But at least by putting it down in words and broadcasting it for the world to see, I can sleep better knowing that someone may be able to not only hold me accountable for my goals...but maybe they might be able to assist along the path!!! I am still not sure if I will be able to sleep better after writing this or if it will just get me thinking even more.

Well, I am going to try anyway. Any of you insomniacs out there reading this, please forgive me for once again delving deep into my psyche. Thanks for reading and if you see my wandering through Laguna in my little grey Subaru, please say hi to hopefully keep me awake at the wheel!!! Cole